Prayer during the Spiritual Exercises is quite thematic. It is not the prayer of simple regard or a prayer of quiet or a prayer of simple contemplation or centering prayer. Those are all what I would call unthematic prayer. They may have an implicit theme or an obscure focus, but they are not "thematic" as the various themes in the Spiritual Exercises. Much of the prayer of the Spiritual Exercises is aimed at self-knowledge and prayer over the life of Christ. The purpose is to come to know Jesus and the other great mysteries of the faith.

          Self-knowledge is very important in the Exercises and in all of apostolic spirituality. Other spiritualities have that emphasis, too; but in apostolic spirituality we are particularly aware of it because the decisions that the person is going to make in their discernments need to come out of a basis of accurate self-knowledge.

          The creative imagination is very important in the prayer of The Spiritual Exercises and Ignatian prayer in general. The creative imagination is at the root of what has become known as Ignatian contemplation. This contemplation, in some respects at least, is different from contemplation as described by St. John of the Cross. The Spiritual Exercises have a very definite goal: to rid oneself of disordered affections and attachments; and having gotten rid of the disordered affections and attachments, to make good decisions that prosper our life with God and promote apostolic effectiveness. A retreat of the Spiritual Exercises is not just a time of "being with God" as an end in itself. 

          In the Spiritual Exercises Ignatius asks the retreatant to engage in four different types of prayer. Pregar (pray) means just pray in whatever way you pray or want to pray. He asks the retreatant to meditar, meditate. To meditate is to pray discursively. For example, Jesus was like this, I should be like this. Meditation challenges me to ask where the Scripture story cuts across my life. That is why it is thematic: where does it cut across my life? What difference does it make? Ignatius usually asks the retreatant to contemplar, contemplate, using the creative imagination to assimilate and be assimilated to the truth and love being contemplated. Lastly, he asks us to considerar, which means, "to consider" or even "to plan." It is a heavy use of the rational and intellectual. The Spiritual Exercises is a training program to get a man or woman reflectively aware of his or her apostolic stance in the world and his or her union with God. It is not just a quiet "being with God." All of these ways of praying are in service to what he calls, Id quod volo, (that which I desire), the grace for which I am asking. The Spiritual Exercises are really a series of "that which I desire," Id quod volo.

          We are counting on directors and people who are going to be directors to read the "greats" on prayer, such as St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Frances de Sales, along with some others. These readings will be helpful as directors try to direct the prayer of others.

          In considering prayer it is essential to approach it with an open and unbiased mind and heart. We sometimes think that prayer is a univocal activity, can be done only one way, and is nothing else. I am inviting you to say, "Prayer is many things," and to look at prayer perhaps in a new and fresh way.

          A retreat is a time to stop telling yourself your story. Since the day you were born, everyone has been telling you your story. Your mother tells you who you are, and your father and your aunts and the uncles and your brothers and sisters tell you who you are. You go to school and your teachers tell you who you are. You go to Mass on Sunday and the homilist tells you who you are. Even the cop on the corner will tell you who you are if you give him a chance. Everybody will tell you your story, and you begin to believe it. This is who I am. This is my story.

          A retreat is a time to stop telling yourself your story because you do not know it; and to let God tell you your story: not your mother, your father, your sister, your brothers, your uncles, your aunts or the policeman on the corner. Let God tell you your story. God is the only One who knows your story. That is what we mean by "revelation." This is why I go to prayer: to let God tell me my story, to let God tell me who I am. I do not go to prayer already knowing. Hopefully, the retreat is not a matter of shining up the same old means to the same old end. It opens up a whole new horizon. I come with an open heart and mind to let God tell me my story. That is a new notion of prayer and especially prayer during The Spiritual Exercises.

         The Spiritual Exercises is not a time for simple wordless, image- less, contemplative prayer. That kind of prayer is very fine and excellent prayer; but most of the prayer during the Spiritual Exercises has a definite focus that is ultimately leading to decision and action. Sometimes people come to the Exercises with anger because the prayer of the Exercises is thematic. It has a focus, and one asks for the grace that one desires. At other times, they just want to be with God. Being with God in a quiet, contemplative way, unthematic way, may be fine prayer, but that is not what The Spiritual Exercises are about. The Exercises are about ridding oneself of all inordinate attachments and having gotten rid of them, making decisions in the disposition of one's life with God, always with a view to apostolic effectiveness.

          Even within the Exercises there are many ways to pray. One thinks, one feels, one does an application of the senses, one does Ignatian contemplation. One contemplates with the creative imagination the events in the life of Christ. One tries to enter into the mystery being contemplated, or perhaps better, one tries to allow the mystery to enter oneself.

          Let us consider for a moment the value of Centering Prayer. Christian prayer is prayer in which one is occupied with God and the things of God. If that is what is meant by centering prayer, that is appropriate at certain times. On the other hand, if centering prayer is some vague and wordless relaxation and that is all, then that is not what Christian prayer is about.

          Let me give you an example. If I am in my room studying on a dark and rainy night and I want a break, I come out of my room. I walk down the road, I see a person walking toward me. Is that Frank? No, Frank is not that tall. Oh, maybe it is Pat? No, Pat does not swing his arms like that. Maybe it is Jerry. No, no, Jerry does not walk that fast. Who is it? I do not know. However, I am certainly occupied with who it is. I am occupied with someone there. My attention is focused on who it is.

          On the other hand, I come out of my room, go out into the dark night, I feel the mist on my face and look at the dark night. The moon is obscure and I see what little light there is from the street lights glistening off the wet pavement. I hear the rustle of the trees and feel the breeze and the mist on my face. I look at the obscure moon and the light on the pavement and the breeze on my face. Nothing is focusing me. I am going from one to the other, a "sweet doing nothing." As the Italians say, Dolce far niente. I am just doing nothing. That is vagueness of spirit, vagueness of soul. That is not Christian prayer. Christian prayer is always Christic. Vague prayer is not Christic prayer. Obscure prayer can be Christic. Even if it is "Father" prayer or "Spirit" prayer, it is still Christic prayer as the Christ, the Incarnate Word is our source of knowledge and contact with Father and Spirit.

          Here is a different example. I come out of my room. I have been studying and I want a rest. I sit in the garden with the sun shining and the breeze blowing. I am sitting there, enjoying the breeze and the sun, and I begin to hear a monotonous noise: tap, tap. tap, tap. Then I notice the sun, feel the breeze, look at the green of the grass, feel the breeze again, look at the sun and I say, "What was that? The tapping stopped." I was aware when something stopped. Now, if something stopped, something was going on. The prayer may be that simple. The only way I know that it is not "sweet doing nothing" is if I am aware when the prayer stops. If something stops, then something was going on and that is enough to be sure that I am in a simple mode of prayer. Otherwise, one could go on for a long time, for an hour or two hours, just being unaware, being mesmerized or out of it or in a daydream. On the contrary, if one is aware when something stops, something was going on. 

          Prayer is always obscure because it proceeds by the virtue of faith. Faith presents things obscurely. To be obscure can be Christian prayer; but to be vague, dolce far niente, that kind of vague, is not prayer. There are times when one can be simple and contemplative and unthematic in the Exercises, but they are deliberately chosen times, appropriate in some places but not in others.

          In the Exercises we are always asked to have a grace in mind, "that which I desire," id quod volo. Many times that grace is specified in the Spiritual Exercises. For instance, in the Third Week we ask for "sorrow, compassion, and shame because Christ suffers for me." [193] The grace in the Second Week is to know Christ better, to love him more in order to serve him more. [cf 104]

          In addition to focusing the prayer during the Exercises it is essential to authentically desire what is asked for and not pretend to desire it. When I was a novice, I was taught to say, "It is my deliberate choice and earnest desire to imitate you, Christ, in suffering all wrong and abuse and actual and spiritual poverty." I said that and that was what I thought I desired. Who is kidding whom? I did not truly want spiritual and actual poverty and to imitate Christ in suffering all abuse. One should not ask for something one does not want. One asks for a grace if one desires it. If one does not desire it, one does not ask for it.

          There is an authenticity required. One prays from where his or her real faith is and prays from where his or her real desire is, not where he or she is pretending it is. In order for God to touch us we have to pray from where our real faith and our real desire are. Of course, one needs accurate self-knowledge here.

          I call this authentic awareness "presential" prayer. I am truly present to myself; and then as truly present to myself, I am present to God. But I have to be present to myself. I do not go into prayer, letting all my troubles and my seamy side outside of prayer as though I had to go into prayer with my Sunday best clothes on. 

          I could go to prayer in the morning and say, "Lo, Lord, here is your Jesuit of some 40 years. I come before You in great reverence and obedience." And the Lord would say, "What! Who is that? I do not know him." I am not truly present. It is not authentic. On the other hand, I could go to prayer and say, " Lord, I am angry as can be this morning. I am really angry about this red tape and this bureaucracy that I have to put up with and the nonsense and I am feeling lusty and angry and not appreciated and I am trying to find your presence." And God would say, "Ah! Good morning, George. That man I know." 

          I must bring this authentic presence to the series of graces in The Spiritual Exercises. No one makes the offering of the Kingdom that Ignatius made. That was his offering. Each person must make his or her own offering. That offering is what a person truly desires to offer, not what one pretends to desire to offer. 

          It is very important for the person to image what the grace will be like once it is obtained. A grace is something one does not have, something one really wants, something one cannot give oneself. Therefore, a person asks God for it as a gift. One needs to ask, what will this grace look like when I have it?" If I do not have an image of the grace, not just words, but an appreciation of myself with this grace, then I do not really know what I am praying for. As a director I do not know what the retreatant or directee is praying for. 

          One time while giving a retreat to someone, I said, "What would you like from this retreat?" The person replied, "I would like the peace of Christ." I said, "What is the peace of Christ?" She answered, "Well, no matter what happens to me from now on, it will not disturb me in the slightest." I said, "Ah! If that is the peace of Christ, I do not think that it is a grace to desire. It is outside human reality and unreal."

          Another time when I had five people on retreat, I asked the first one, "What would you want?" He said, "A more personal relationship with Christ." The second one said, "A more personal relationship with Jesus", and the third one said, "A deeper relationship with Christ", and so all five of them said. Note that all five of them use similar words, but mean something different. What is in their imagination? That is the key.

          A director cannot go by the literalness of the words. The director needs to ask about the image behind the words and the affect behind the image. What is the image? What will it look like? What will it taste like? What will it smell like? What will it feel like? What will it walk like going down the street? Here you go down the street without the grace, and here you go down the street with the grace. What is the difference? Give me an imaginative picture so that I will know what you are praying for and be able to help you in the discernment of whether you have it or not. Otherwise, you are like Don Quixote, charging after windmills. 

          A grace is something you do not have. If you do have the grace, live in the confidence of the gift given. Some people have graces, and they do not know it. A grace is something you really want. You cannot give it to yourself. If you can get it by reading a book, read a book. If you can get it by going to a workshop, go to a workshop. If you cannot find a means for obtaining it, then ask God for it as a gift, a grace.

          It is this kind of focused prayer that The Spiritual Exercises are directing us toward. We are letting God tell us our story as God unfolds our story to us through the help of the Exercises and prayer over Scripture. Certain graces are suggested. It is the director's job to find out what the grace is that the retreatant is praying for. What is his or her image of it? Is it theologically acceptable and psychologically opportune?

          Knowing the grace is relatively easy if one is going through the 30 day retreat or even the full retreat according to Annotation [19]. An 8-day retreat is more difficult to direct than a 30-day retreat or the full Annotation [19] retreat because the person comes into an 8-day retreat with a different set of expectations. The 8-day retreat requires a more accurate judgment of where a person is and what a person is going to pray over. What is the id quod volo? The director has to find out where a person is and how that person can move toward their "id quod volo," toward that which they desire.

          The person has to be taught to pray over Scripture, of course. We are assuming that the person knows how to pray over Scripture and make the examination of consciousness before coming to an individually directed retreat. They have to at least be that well prepared. 

          The director needs to make sure that the person knows how to make an application of the senses. An application of the senses has a very close analogy to an active imagination as proposed, for instance, by Carl Jung. Retreatants need to really enter into the mystery. This composition, not so much composition of place as geography, but being composed with the mystery is necessary so that God can work across the whole range of my intellectual and affective consciousness.

          Let me draw an analogy. When a person reads about a mine disaster in the newspaper and learns that the roof fell in and so many miners are trapped, one says, "Oh my, that is too bad." However, when one hears about it on the radio, there is greater involvement. Then when one sees it on television and one watches the scurrying about and all the equipment trying to get the men out, one gets more and more emotionally and intellectually involved to the point of saying, "Oh, isn't this terrible! Get them out." Perhaps the media begins to affect a person to the point that one goes to the site of the disaster. There one can feel the pall of terror around the disaster, and one can smell the fear and the confusion of people and the questioning of what to do. That is involvement!

          In the Exercises one is analogously involved in the mystery of the birth of Christ. For instance, Ignatius asks one to see the cave where Christ was born. How wide is it? How high is it? Is there straw in it? Feel the straw. Hear what people are saying. Watch what they are doing. He is bringing the senses to bear here. It is a very close analogy with the active imagination. He asks us, for instance, in the beginning of the Exercises [53] to pray before Christ on the cross, to imagine Christ on the cross and talk to him as one friend talks to another. It is a dialog, one friend talking to another. Ignatius asks us to ponder what presents itself to mind. It will be something different for each person. Each one ponders what is present to his or her circumstance.

          It is not enough that a director knows these things. He or she must know them well enough to explain them to someone else. The Spiritual Exercises lead the person into the mystery as though that mystery were happening right here, right now. We read in Isaiah, "Just as the snow and the rains come from heaven and water the earth, making it bring forth food for the hungry and seed for the sower, so is the word that goes out of my mouth. It does not return to me empty, without effecting that for which I sent it." [Isa.55] As a director, one tells the retreatant, "Now that is God's Word. That is what we are going to pray over. We are going to get the Scripture and pray over that Word which is effective, that Word which is from God and will do its work. Let God tell you your story and that story will do its work."

          The reason why the Word will do its work is because as the theologians say, there is no privileged moment in history. Sometimes I think that if I could have been there with Jesus, if I could have been around the campfire with him and told him my concerns and heard what he had to say, it would have been easier. We think it was easier for Peter, James and John. But no, there is privileged moment in history. It was no easier for Peter, James and John to believe in the person and mission and to be present to Christ than it is for you or me. There is no privileged moment in history because the Father always spoke his Word from time immemorial. At a certain time God spoke the Word. Christ became incarnate in history and then ascended to the Father. God is still speaking the same Word. He is prolating his Word, that Word which will be effective. That is why there is no privileged moment in history. God always spoke the Word. God spoke it in the time of Christ. God is speaking it right now.

          Directors have to tell people that. They have to tell them that there is no privileged moment in history because the Father speaks through the Word.

          A person gets into application of the senses because he or she allows himself or herself to be taken up into the story, the Word. For example, a husband and wife's children are going to bed at night. The children say, "Daddy, daddy, tell us a story." He gathers them around and says to the children, "Once upon a time there was a great big giant!" In one child's imagination is 2000 years ago in ancient Persia. In another child's imagination is 400 years ago in the Black Forest. In another child's imagination is "right here, right now." Now, who gets up the next morning, all excited, looking for the giant's footsteps? The child who imagines "right here, right now." Who does the story get into? Who gets into the story? The child who says "right here, right now." That child is theologically correct because there is not privileged moment in history. The one who says, "When is Jesus talking to the woman at the well? Right here, right now, Jesus is talking to me." That is rousing up the faith that is in you and the kind of prayer that is part of the Exercises.

          It is important to talk this over with Christ, to make the Triple Colloquy. In it we talk to the Father and ask for the grace; we talk the Son and ask for the grace; we talk to Mary and ask for the grace.

          It is important, too, in the time of the Exercises to pay some attention and instruct the people about good body position during prayer. What positions are good to take in prayer? It is a time of prayer not a time of penance. One does not need to kneel and be conscious of sore knees. Kneeling is not a good position for long formal prayer. One can think of sitting in prayer, of standing in prayer, of lying down, though one has to watch not go to sleep. Ignatius does not mention walking during prayer. I would say it is a little distracting. I have no objection to people praying while they are walking or driving to work. However, to do the Annotation [19] retreat walking or driving while doing formal prayer is stretching it too far. It is better to have an exclusive time free when one can consistently consider and pray. 

          A person can sit in a comfortable chair or perhaps in a hard chair facing forward with one's feet on the floor and one's hands on your lap. It is not good to pray with your fingers interlaced because it sets up certain pressures and affects the circulation and can sometimes cause dizziness, even over a short period of time. It might be better to place the back of one hand in the palm of the other in a position of receptivity. 

          One can use imagination in finding a position for prayer. One can kneel on a cushion in a chair and lean over the back of it. Often the Carthusians lie down when they pray, putting their head in their hand. It is a comfortable way to pray. There is nothing that says I have to kneel when I pray. One can roll up a blanket and put it under one's ankles to support a sitting position. Perhaps one could use a prayer stool that fits over one's legs as one sits back. Try different positions in prayer.

          Ignatius says that if a person is getting what he or she wants, fine. If one is not getting what he or she wants, change the position in prayer. The body is very important and should be taken care of in prayer and in the retreat. This extends to eating, sleeping, and body position in prayer.

          Let me give an example. There was a person experienced in pray who prayed in the corner of her room near the bookcase with a candle burning. After the retreat was going on a few days, I said to her, "For the next two days look out the window while you pray." " Look out the window? You mean with my eyes open?" She always prayed with her eyes closed. I said, "Yes, with your eyes open." "Well, I don't like that too much." I said, "Just two days, try it and see what happens." She tried it and she learned that looking out the window is also a way of union with God and desiring the "grace that I desire." Prayer does not require that the candle be burning and one's eyes be closed and that lights be out. I can desire God, looking out the window and just not getting absorbed or distracted by what I am doing. I am looking out the window. I see the bird go through the sky. I see the branches of the tree wave and they don't bother me. Grace is not fragile. It does not have to be coddled in the darkness. 

          That woman learned something about prayer and about the presence of God. She began to learn about "finding God in all things." Do not be afraid to have people experiment with position in prayer and different ways of praying. The Spiritual Exercises are a time for people to learn many good things. Here they are getting good take-home learning about themselves: position in prayer, how they pray best, and that grace is not fragile. Good directors have to instruct people in these matters so that people are aware of different possibilities.

The Examination of Consciousness

          The most important prayer of the Exercises and of Ignatian spirituality in general is the examination of consciousness. It is very important to be faithful to this prayer both during the Exercises, whether in the Annotation [19] retreat or the Annotation [20] retreat, and in the everyday life of a person trying to live a spiritual life. Ignatius thought the examination of consciousness was so important that even if a man were sick in the infirmary, Ignatius would excuse him from Liturgy, his meditation, the breviary, and all the other practices of the spiritual life of that day, but not from the examination of consciousness. Sick or not, he had to make it.

          Some may have been taught to consider the examination of conscience as a time for looking at sin and limitations. It is broader than that. It is a monitoring of one's stream of consciousness during the day. It is not precisely looking for sins or limitations or sinfulness. If one has committed sin, that sin will stick out like a sore thumb. The examination of consciousness is the instrument to make one aware of God's presence in one's life. It takes us beyond the examination of conscience as one was taught to make before a good confession. In the examination of consciousness I challenge myself to address the question of where God has been in my life today and a stance of gratitude for His presence.

          One of Ignatius' favorite notions of God was God the Worker, Deus Operarius. That notion appears at the beginning of the Exercises in the "Principle and Foundation," and at the end of the Exercises in what we call the "Contemplation to Attain the Love of God." God is at work in every creature on our behalf. God is working for us. God is what is sharp in the edge of a knife and what is wet in water. God is what is green in grass and what is cool in the breeze. The purpose of the examination of consciousness is to keep us aware of that reality. It is tied up with finding God in all things because God is in all things. God is at work, not only in all things merely as a kind of presence, but God, the Worker, is laboring in all things for us. 

          We call this process the examination of consciousness, not the examen of conscience because it has those deep purposes that we spoke about: finding God in all things, being aware of God the Worker, the teacher of discernment. It has many, many benefits to it and that is why Ignatius would not excuse anyone, even those sick in the infirmary, from the examination of consciousness

          The basis of being a contemplative in action is constantly finding that God at work in all things. It becomes a matter of not just finding God in prayer, but in all things. The examination of consciousness is the instrument for heightening that awareness. It is also the teacher of discernment. Where has God been with me? How has He been moving me today? Have I been attentive to God? Where have I not been attentive to God? Being a contemplative in action does not mean reserving part of my mind to contemplate while I am in the midst of action; but it means that the action becomes transparent of God. In classical mysticism St. John of the Cross speaks of the mystic's psyche becoming transparent of God. For the contemplative in action, the action is transparent of God. That is an essential part of Ignatian spirituality, a spirituality of choice at the level of faith. The action is transparent of God so that now the busy life of the apostolate is not a distraction, but it is nourishment for my spirit.

The five steps of the Examen are:

 
1. Recall the presence of God. 
2. Give thanks and be grateful for the graces and gifts of God, especially of God the Worker, God who is laboring in all things to help. 
3. Ask the help of the Holy Spirit to move through a personal anamnesis, understanding my life in the light of the Holy Spirit.

4. Reconciliation 
5. Resolve for the future. 

          Thirdly, I ask the help of the Holy Spirit to remember the day. This is a kind of personal anamnesis. The assumption is that this examen is made in the evening, although it need not be done then. One could make it in the morning about the previous day, or at noontime. At any time it is a remembering, an anamnesis, a personal remembering of my place in the cosmic Eucharist.

          Then I go through the day. Where was the Lord this morning when I woke up, as I washed and dressed? at Liturgy? at breakfast? when I came to work and so on through the day? Naturally, where I have not been attentive to God and the ways of God will become apparent. In that sense it is looking for shortcomings, but not in the Benjamin Franklin sense of the examen. We have to be careful of that. Benjamin Franklin made an examen for reasons of self-improvement. He was weeding out his faults. He had a notebook and kept track of his actions. He noted his success and failures in a book. In the Spiritual Exercises Ignatius suggests something like that, but his orientation is quite different. He wants us to develop a consciousness of God the Worker and eventually the grace of finding God in all things. Part of that habitual grace will be to be conscious of when one is not cooperating with God. This awareness will also bubble up as one goes through the day. St. Augustine writes, "I was present to you, Augustine. It was you who was not present to me."

          The fifth step of the examen is to come to resolution about the matter prayed over. One should come to resolution, not come to a resolution. Bring the matter to an understanding. This is who I am. This is where I am standing even if that understanding today is not very complementary. I understand the truth of the matter and bring it to resolution. That is the fifth step. 

          Through the Examen we become aware of our patterns of consolation and desolation. All these things make the examen very important. It is an instrument of true self-knowledge. How is God generally with me? How am I generally with God? How do I stray away from God and the ways of grace? What is my particular brand of desolation? Ignatius might call that the particular examen, but we have lost it in a maze of little minutiae, paying attention to certain letters of the Law, without paying attention to its spirit and the way God is dealing with us. In the particular Examen we are coming to know the abiding shape of our consolations and desolations. It has resonances with our Name of Grace.

          The examination of consciousness is very important. That is how the person becomes aware of their day and aware how God has been dealing with oneself and with what kind of generosity and devotion the retreatant is making the exercises of the retreat. It is particularly important in an Annotation [19] retreat because in the Annotation [19] retreat the director talks to the retreatant ordinarily only once a week. Most of the retreatant's time has not been spent in prayer but in the ordinary daily life. (In an Annotation [20] retreat a day is much more filled with prayer.) The director needs to be alert and aware of the progress of the day, "Where was God with you in your work?" 

          In an Annotation [19] retreat it is very important to debrief the person's work, his or her personal relationships with husband or wife or children or colleagues and other significant people in his or her lives. God the Worker is always at work, 24 hours a day, not just in the hour and a half that they take to make the Annotation [19] retreat. It is for these reasons that the director wants to know about the examen. That is why fidelity to the examen is so important.

          I would not begin to give a person a directed retreat, either an Annotation [19] or Annotation [20] until I knew that they knew, and were using the examination of consciousness. That is how important it is. That would be part of the preparation that I would go through with a person before I gave him or her a directed retreat.

          There is another way of doing the examination of consciousness with gesture. It takes perhaps two and one-half minutes and is a great help on the days when one is pressed for time. I offered this method to a hundred businessmen one time. They were of all different faiths and confessions: Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans, Catholics, and Jewish. I gave them the examen of consciousness done in gesture one day and said this would help them a great deal when pressed for time. It contained no words, only gestures. It was very effective.

          The purpose and fruit of the Examen is to become more and more aware of the constancy of the Holy Spirit, and to be constantly aware of the way that God is dealing with one during the day, even in the fine points and the subtleties of one's life.

          Louis Lallemant, S.J. was a great spiritual director in the Society of Jesus. One of his tenets for drawing into union with God, being very close to God, was "an exacting fidelity to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit." The Examen is a way of pursuing that "exacting fidelity." Ignatius did not excuse people from the Examen because he felt there was no time in life when one did not need to be attentive and listen. Even during busyness or illness one needs to be attentive and listen. It is a part of life.

          In Chapter 4 we talked about the examination of unconsciousness, which is very important for placing the whole of us, conscious and unconscious, into God's mysteries, so that the mystery can work on the whole of us. In the Spiritual Exercises Three Methods of Prayer are noted [258 - 260]. These can be of great service depending on time and circumstance. They are not additional methods of prayer, and can be used outside the Spiritual Exercises.

          The first method is a consideration of the Ten Commandments, the seven capital sins, the three powers of the soul, and the five senses. This way of prayer is more properly a way of proceeding. [238] The individual can prepare himself or herself for the other forms of prayer.

          In the second method one is asked to take a vocal prayer such as the Our Father one word at a time. "Our". I get myself in the position of prayer and do the preludes and I say, "Our." If I am saying "Our", there are probably people in Japan and in China and France and Germany and England or Brazil who are also saying, "Our Father" even right now. That must mean that I am a brother or sister to those people, and they are brother and sister to me if we are all saying, "Our Father." Perhaps, I never realized the meaning of "our" in this depth before. I continue meditating on "Our" as long as that is fruitful and provoking reflection, thought and desire. 

          "Our Father" God is also my mother. How about that? It is a little softer. God, you are a little softer when I think of you as mother as well as father. Our Father-- and yet, not my father in the way that my natural father is my father, because you are God.

          It is you, God, you are Someone. As Paul Claudel, the French poet said, "God is someone." You are someone; you are not the Force, or some vague, impersonal reality. You are someone. Our Father Who-- "Are" you really are!

          And so on, with all the words of the Our Father. One can take the Our Father, the Hail Mary, the Anima Christi, the Memorare, any vocal prayer and pray that way, one word at a time.

          The third method of praying is to take the prayer, a vocal prayer, and with each breath, say one of the words.

That makes one conscious of one's breathing, the spirit, the breathing in and out, breathing life, breathing life and breathing it out and it - another way of praying.

          I once taught these ways of praying to an old pastor. He went off to do some of the praying that way, and he came back the next day all excited. He said, "I can take these methods of prayer and I can give three Wednesday evenings in the parish on the methods of prayer, on teaching how to pray. All the other priests will say, "Where does he get this business, doing three Wednesdays on prayer? How does he know so much about prayer?" He can do it. He can give them very easily. All three methods are good ways of praying.

Prayer in the Exercises

          The Spiritual Exercises is not a time of unthematic prayer. Prayer during the Exercises has a specific desire behind it: I want this grace. I am asking you, Lord, and this is what it will look like when I have it. The prayer is focused. For instance, one need not be "thematic" while making a visit to the Blessed Sacrament.; but one needs to be focused and thematic while praying over the Kingdom [91-99]. It is prayer aimed at a specific grace. One is getting rid of disordered affections and attachments; and after ridding oneself of them, one makes decisions that order one's life to God. That is the thrust of prayer during the Spiritual Exercises. It is different from a contemplative, nonthematic time of prayer. Some people say they do not want to tell God what they want. They want to receive what God wants to give them. That is legitimate at times, but not during the Spiritual Exercises.

          A consistent use of unthematic prayer can be an evasion of the real issues. Here the director can give some important instruction. Questions might be helpful if chosen carefully. How are you going to find out what God wants? What do you want to give Him? Where are you? What kind of identification do you want with Christ? Walking on the water or with Christ on the cross? It makes a difference if your identification is with Christ walking on the water or with Christ on the cross?

          We have come to know our conscious selves through the examination of consciousness, and we have come to know our unconscious selves through the examination of unconsciousness. The meeting with the director is where self-knowledge, grace, and desire are clarified and discerned. It is, perhaps, the most important "exercise" of the day. I urge you to say smart and good and helpful things about life with God and not to think that prayer is tightly categorized. People need to have a great freedom to pray. They have to go where the Spirit leads. They have to know where their deepest desires lie.

          In the Spiritual Exercises a person takes his or her own symbol canon and lets it be challenged by the commonly accepted symbol canon of Christianity. I compare my personal images of God with the images of God presented in Scripture and the tradition of the Church. We are also using the Spiritual Exercises here, where Ignatius has filtered out some of those images. Thus the retreatant enters into the image or symbol that is suggested in the Exercises and lets himself or herself be challenged, broadened, and chastened by the "fit." These classic images challenge my personal images and convert me, transform me.

          What is important is that the retreatant be present to, or in touch with himself or herself: with affectivity, not just intellectual consciousness but with affective consciousness, passion, emotion, sentiment, will, desire, one's real desire and not pretend that these movements are other than what they really are.

          Throughout the retreat one is repeatedly asked to take a passage from Scripture, or something specific to the Exercises, like the Two Standards [136 - 148] or the Three Classes of Persons [149 - 156] that are specific to the Exercises, and say, "Where am I really with this?" Hopefully the director will have skill enough to go along with the symbolic consciousness of the person and allow to unfold what is actually in that person's consciousness. 

          One time I had a person tell me, "I prayed over these passages of Scripture and what came to my mind was: I was walking down the street with two animals on a leash. The director might say, "Well, that's a distraction." Aha, listen, listen, it was not a distraction. Say, "What were the two animals?" "Well, one was a dog." "Uh-huh, and what was the other one?" "I don't know." Now, what would you say? I said, "Go back and find out what the other one was. So, they came back to me the next day and I said, "Did you pray over that?" "Yes." "Did that image come again?" "Oh yes, I was walking down the street, and I had two animals on a leash and one was the dog," "And, what was the other one?" "It was a pig." "Ah, and what about the pig?" Well, much to my surprise, the person broke out crying.

          I stayed with that person's image. There were all kinds of things connected with the pig, which I would not have found out about, if I had not given the person the freedom to go with his symbolic consciousness. It was not a distraction. It was his symbolic consciousness leading him into prayer and what God wanted him to think about. 

          Another time I had a Jesuit on retreat who was older than I. He wanted to try a directed retreat because he knew he should. He was not too sure of the process, but he wanted to try. One day he was telling me about his prayer saying, " And then there was..  well, that's not important." I said: "Then there was what?" "Oh, that's not important." I said, "Well, tell me." "No, no." I said, "Now tell me," "Well, alright. There was this hockey puck." "Hockey puck?" "Well, the hockey puck would go whhhissing past-- across and then go whhht-- whhht-- but", he said, "That's not important." I let it go for the time being, but at the end of the interview I said, "In your prayer, go with the hockey puck." He said, "I'm supposed to be praying." I said, "Prayer is many things. Go with the hockey puck." Reluctantly, he replied, "I said I would do what you asked me to do, and I will do it." 

          The next morning when he came into the interview I said, "Did you go with the hockey puck?" "Yes, I went with the hockey puck." "Did it go any place?" "Did it ever! The hockey puck became a seed and the seed opened up and out of the seed came a tree and there were all these different kinds of fruit, not all the same kind of fruit on the tree.." Those images became the key to the retreat. So, I bring those kinds of things up to let you know that prayer is a many-splendored thing and not to constrain people to pray in a certain way, and especially to encourage and allow their creative imagination into prayer in the time of the Spiritual Exercises.

          This is a different way of praying from the prayer that John of the Cross talks about in his works. I am a great lover of John of the Cross and to say anything about prayer one has to be in dialog with John of the Cross. I love what he says and value what he says. However, I am saying there are other kinds of prayer. Especially, there are other ways of praying during the Spiritual Exercises. The Spiritual Exercises has as their purpose freeing oneself from disordered affections and attachments, and having been freed, to make decisions that order one's life with God. The retreat is a very particular time, and during that time there are many ways one must pray.

By the term "Spiritual Exercises" is meant every method of examination of conscience, of meditation, of contemplation, of vocal and mental prayer, and of other spiritual activities that will be mentioned later. For just as taking a walk, journeying on foot, and running are bodily exercises, so we call Spiritual Exercises every way of preparing and disposing the soul to rid itself of all inordinate attachments, and, after their removal, of seeking and finding the will of God in the disposition of one's live for the salvation of our soul. [1]

          Approach the various mysteries of Scripture, realizing that mystery is what we know best. Sometimes we think of mystery as that which is unintelligible, or that which we do not know. On the contrary, mystery is what we know best. There is so much to know. Mystery is infinitely intelligible. It is not that mystery is not intelligible. It is infinitely intelligible and infinitely knowable. If you consider a chair, what you see is what you get. There is no mystery. A chair is a chair is a chair and I know it comprehensively. That is because there is not that much to know. But when I come to know the many aspects of love: human love, or patriotism or heroism, then I get to know God, and many aspects of the mysteries of God. There is so much to know. 

          Mystery is the underpinning of everything that we know. One should not be taken in by what many people call knowing, which is a very limited kind of knowing, a very predictable kind of thing. In prayer we want to open our symbolic consciousness to realize that the symbol is where we can feel comfortable with contrary things. Conceptual knowing cannot put those together: God's mercy and God's justice. The concept cannot put them together. However, if I get myself into the space of my symbolic consciousness, then contrary things can be brought together. I can know God better in the symbolic consciousness than I can know God in conceptual, intellectual knowing.

          Our society often narrows us to one way of knowing. It is a real bias and prejudice. Scientific knowledge is a very limited and specific kind of knowing. "If it can't be measured it doesn't exist." When we pray, it is a different kind of knowing. Faith is a new epistemology, and that is what Ignatius is trying to open us up: to look at the Mystery this way, to look at the Mystery that way, to get into the mystery, to use the application of senses, to use the creative imagination, to let the affectivity lead in some areas. Faith has a noetic quality. It has an intellectual value as well as an affective value. The prayer of the Exercises must make room for this. 

          Each prayer period in the Spiritual Exercises is pointed by the grace being asked for. That is the art of spiritual direction, the art of directing the retreat. The director with his or her own appreciation and knowledge takes this particular passage of Scripture and points it for this particular person, pointing the passage at this specific grace. It is the director's job to take what the directee is saying, and point it to the grace. What do you really want? What are you asking God for? Paint me a picture. Tell me what it looks like. What does it smell like? What does it feel like? How does it talk? How does it walk? Now I know what you are desiring. Now you are asking God for that, knowing that there is no privileged moment in history. Coming before God as your authentic self, not pretending to want poverty when it is the last thing you really want. Do not ask for what you do not want

          That is the prayer of the Exercises that requires discernment. It is not chosen by some general rule. Unfortunately, some of the things that are coming out on the Spiritual Exercises now suggest one can reproduce a page and give it to the directee in some orderly fashion. Not so. Each day the director needs to ask, "Did you pray over that?" "Yes." "What happened? Without this information there is no basis for the discerned decision about the next day's prayer assignment.

          There are many more things we could say about prayer. We have left out the whole classical treatment of lectio, meditatio, oratio, contemplatio. There was no attempt to be exhaustive of the topic of prayer or even of prayer in the Exercises, but what we have said are some things to think over, to reflect on.